Farewell...

Dear umm zaid(or perhaps, dear former umm zaid),

Im not going to say anything about your being a Muslim because i simply have no concrete information at hand to make that judgement. The other day an anonymous person left a comment saying that they know you personally and that you are an atheist now. Quite Frankly, I guess that marks the end of my journey. We have this extremely intricate, complex and beautiful thing in front of our very eyes, the 'reality', and all of us have to decide what we ought to make of that fact. Either we allow ourselves to ascertain the existence of God and his revelation through his chosen people, or we simply discard it and credit random chance for having built whatever we see around us, and us ourselves as well. I leave it at that, and I am sure that at this stage of your life you have already decided which path you are going down on and have considered the repercussions of your decision very carefully(although it would have been very interesting if we could hear which one is that and why have you chosen it). As you might have noticed that I adhere to the faith of Islam, therefore, I choose to believe that a maximally higher being exists and that it has on purpose created everything and i will pray for your guidance (as well as my own) towards the truth behind. Farewell to you, please be known that whatever you wrote for this faith lies in thousands of hearts and will not perish, that there are people who have been concerned about a fellow Muslim's trials and tribulations and who, ever faithfully, pray for her goodwill. May you find peace, amen. My email address will still be open if you ever come across this corner of the web and decide to engage in a conversation.

Best wishes
salam

Sara Umm Zaid-A Convert to Islam went missing...

Salam Aleykum



Yesterday night I was browsing the web and I don't know how I stumbled upon a post on some forum about Sheikh Nuh Keller. Among other things that were mentioned about the respected sheikh it was written that there were some converts who apostatized  during their visit to Jordan, and became atheists, were also his disciples. One name; 'Saraji Umm zaid', particularly caught my attention and this is how it all started. I didn't know Umm Zaid before yesterday night but the very mention of an exceptionally devout Muslim woman, who had been so for quite some years, denouncing Islam sent chills down my spine and for some reason I started researching more on the entire issue. To my surprise there wasn't much to read except for the comments on a few blog posts and even in those comments it seemed that people weren't sure that the person who's being accused of being the former Umm Zaid, an ex-muslim blogger with he screen name signy, deserved the accusation or not. To be very frank and honest my heart cried and this entire thing made me intensely restless. And mind you all of this is being written in 2013, at a time when signy's blog seems to have been deleted. I myself was sort of a persistent agnost once, and so naturally, before reverting back to Islam, I had gone through the entire ex-muslim propaganda literature online and, though at that time I was quite impressed, today I am of the opinion that it didn't, and still doesn't, meet the standards of serious and academic criticism. People who were writing these things seemed immature to me, they had no formal training in logic and philosophy as well as didn't even know enough about Islam itself, which they so wanted to 'refute', to claim any authority over its scriptures . A sort of somewhat serious criticism would constitute, in my opinion, the writings of Patricia crone; although I don't think they are completely unbiased and don't contain emotionally charged rhetoric within them, of course they do, but to a lesser extent than in the writings of these neo-ex muslims we find on facebook etc. At least she is an academician; and even though I may disagree, on academic basis, with everything she says but still I would acknowledge her right to criticism because of her formal education. Anyhow, once I realized these things their, the facebook-blogosphere exmuslims, literature started to put me off rather than further impressing me, and today when i read a part of it, it doesn't induce any doubts in my heart rather I just smile and move on.


Anyhow given this background I was dying to read this signy's blog because in my opinion, as she was portrayed  by people who knew her online, her criticisms might have been serious (due to the fact that she was an intelligent person who had studied under genuine Muslim scholars and thus had firsthand experience and knowledge about Islam) and I wanted to offer her a dialogue to ask what is it in this religion which has appalled her so much so that she left this religion, in which I find so much beauty and which makes so much sense, altogether. I sincerely wanted to talk to her and ask what had happened and listen to her story and possibly heal the wounds that led her to leave Islam, thereby making her rethink and re evaluate her decisions and priorities. I hope and pray that her denouncing Islam may have been just a rumor(and Im dying to hear that) and her disappearance from the internet world may have been due to other reasons and I pray that wherever she is may she be safe and well.

I pray that may she read this one day and if you are reading it right now, Saraji Umm Zaid, please get in touch with me i didnt even know you just a day ago but today your disappearance has become a heart ache for me; I dont know why. I want you to know that we're your friends, and we're here to help you...I may be a broke university student but I can even manage to raise some money as a gift to help you overcome the difficulties and challenges because of your husband's abuse which possibly left you traumatized, mentally, physically and economically(if that actually happened)...a gift for your countless services towards this diyn. And perhaps not so much as a gift, but as a farz-e-kifayah(collective religious obligation); If you haven't left Islam. And if you actually have decided to leave(which I so wish is not the case), then maybe we can discuss your issues and engage in a critical thinking dialogue? You are always warmly welcome I just pray that may Allah make you see this. I'll wait inshAllah, even if it takes years for you to come I'd still be there. remember that Prophet Muhammad(saw) cried when he was told that the black woman who used to sweep the masjid-al-nabawi died and that they buried her without his knowledge? Every muslim is significant no matter what their gender or race is. SISTER SARAJI UMM ZAID PLEASE COME BACK THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU. I pray for your well being and safety and I pray for hidayah for you, and for me and for the entire muslim ummah...O Lord your Prophet has already predicted that near the end of times to uphold this diyn will be like holding a burning coal in your hands...O Allah we are seeing those times right before our eyes... O Allah please protect us and guide us we are your slaves you are more beloved to us than anything else this dunya and its life deceives us O Allah be our protector and savior and make us die with eeman and help our beloved sister in Islam with every trouble that she faces and if she has experiencing shortfalls in her faith O Allah please help her with it and make her firm and strong and make her return to us ameen ameen sum ameen. You can contact via the email godandeverythingelse@gmail.com



If you want to submit a message to sister umm zaid this is the right place to do so, let us make a collective effort to make this blog more popular so that her chance of seeing this can be raised. You can leave your messages in your comments and All messages aimed at her will be posted here as separate posts inshAllah.


Ws salam.